Living out in the countryside – albeit just on the outskirts of town – it is inevitable that we be exposed to animals on the farm.

Not just our own collection of 2 dogs and 2 cats, but also the other animals on the farm that own our neighbours, and also the animals that don’t own any people. The local wild fauna.

Animals on the Farm – Wansley Farm Monkey – a member of Lizzie’s hated Grey People in the Air

When left alone our animals, Gilly the Jack Russell, Lizzie the Offspring of Unknown Parentage, Schmeegle the cat, and Wart the other cat, are all pretty chilled and laid back.

Unfortunately we cannot control That Effin Black Cat. The one that was sent to this earth to Bug Wart.

Picture this…
A quiet winter’s morning…
Clear sky… No wind… No traffic… The machinery hum from the workshop far off in the distance… birds twittering and chirping and doing what birds do…
Life is good.

And all of a sudden the most awful scrawching grating cat noise starts bouncing around between the houses. And up and down the service alley between the houses. Bouncing off walls and trees and foliage and fences and sides of trucks and between ears….!!!
After the initial shock, and the few moments it takes to regain control of heart rate, breathing and bladder one realizes it’s Wart and That Effin Black Cat…!
So. Off we go. Find and fetch Wart. Bring him home. Relax.

And then a sodding monkey will bounce across the roof of our house, on its way to who knows where in search of who knows what.
What we do know is that our house is the closest to the Monkey Habitat. What we do know is that our roof is the first waypoint for the monkeys en route to wherever the en route leads.

Terry and I know this. It doesn’t bother us.

But it DOES bother Lizzie. Very much. She does NOT approve of our roof being used as a waypoint or a jungle gym by the monkeys. And she really does NOT mind letting the whole world – within earshot – know how she feels.

Not a problem you may think. Why be upset at the dog you may think. Put an electric fence on the roof you may think. Put the dog on the roof you may think. Have her bark removed. Or – get rid of the dog – may also cross your mind.

Nope – none of those options are options. Lizzie is our child. At least, she allows us to think so, but the fact remains she does not like The Grey People in the Air. To her they are an abomination of creation, and should not be allowed near Civilized Folk. We moan, yes. We complain, yes. But we live with it.
Because it IS peaceful in the countryside, and with so many lifestyle advantages, it is worth putting up with the minor foibles of our children, and the other animals on the farm

But only in retrospect.
In retrospect is good – it doesn’t disturb near as much as the actual presence of The Effin Black Cat or The Grey People in the Air.

© Copyright Tony Flanigan 2017